Talking about mental health with your kids can feel awkward or scary, but it’s an important conversation to have – especially in this day and age. We have 8 tips for talking about mental health for kids to help ease your way into the conversation.
Since half of all chronic mental health conditions develop by age 14, childhood and adolescence are critical times to be discussing mental health.
Not talking about mental health only adds to the shame and stigma many children feel for struggling with a mental health condition. We can help change the mindset around mental health – one conversation at a time.
Tips for Talking about Mental Health for Kids
1. Build Trust
Talking about mental health is more than just opening up the conversation. It’s about creating a safe environment in which your kids feel comfortable talking to you about their feelings, worries, and fears.
Building trust is an ongoing process that requires patience and conscientious effort. You can build trust by listening to your kids without judgment.
Don’t turn casual conversations into a lecture, and don’t shame your kids for their emotions. Also remember to respect your child’s privacy and keep what you discuss between the two of you, as long as you don’t have concern for their or a friend’s safety.
2. Model Openness
Our kids learn a lot just by being around us. They pick up on our feelings, body language, and behaviors. So make sure you are modeling the openness that you want to see from your children.
Show your kids that it’s okay to be vulnerable and have bad days. There’s nothing wrong with being angry, sad, frustrated, or stressed. Make room for your children to experience the full spectrum of human emotions by allowing yourself to do the same.
You can use difficult moments as a learning experience. Encourage yourself to communicate your feelings to your children (if they are old enough to understand), and say something like, “I’m feeling really stressed today, so I need to take a break in the garden. Being outside helps me feel better.”
The habit of identifying your emotions, communicating them, and then stating your need will establish a healthy way to process difficult emotions.
3. Be Mindful of Your Reactions
The best tips for talking about mental health with kids focus on fostering a safe environment through verbal and non-verbal cues.
Don’t underestimate the impact of an eye roll, sigh, or dismissive comment. These can send the wrong message to your children and make them afraid to speak up around you. If these reactions occur frequently, it may make your child shut down completely.
Make sure you’re in the right headspace to listen to your child before they open up to you. If you don’t have the capacity to listen and be receptive to what they’re going through, you can say something like, “I don’t think I’m able to give you my full attention right now, but I really want to talk this through with you. Can we talk after dinner?”.
Always check in with yourself before so you have the capacity to respond, rather than react, to the situation at hand. These small moments matter a lot.
4. Use a Feelings Chart
Children don’t always have the language to identify and name their own feelings. You can help your child build these skills by using a feelings chart.
By using a feelings chart, you are teaching your child how to check in with themselves and name their feelings. Which will help them validate and manage their feelings later on in life.
5. Timing Matters
As you may know, pressuring your kids into talking about their feelings usually doesn’t work. If you want to have a casual conversation about how school is going or how their friendships are going, don’t try to bring these topics up when emotions are already running high.
Instead, try approaching these topics when your kids are relaxed or during bonding time. Car rides can also present a good opportunity since you don’t have to make eye contact, which can make these conversations feel easier.
6. Use Analogies
For younger children, mental health might be a foreign concept to them. It can be helpful to talk about mental health similar to how we talk about physical health.
Make a comparison to going to see the doctor when you’re sick. You can mention that sometimes people have mental health conditions that be managed by going to the doctor – or in this case, talking to a therapist.
Also feel free to mention that just like it’s not our fault if we get the flu, it’s not a person’s fault if they suffer from mental illness. In fact, many people struggle with their mental health and there’s no shame in admitting it.
7. Discuss Self-Care
One of the best ways to help kids build healthy coping mechanisms and support their mental health is to emphasize the importance of self-care. Self-care can take many shapes and forms. It can look like:
- Eating nutritious meals
- Movement/exercise
- Doing your favorite hobby
- Getting enough sleep every day
Self-care encourages kids to monitor their feelings and figure out what they need – more sleep? A snack? Quality time with friends? Reminding your kids that they can take steps to support their mental health will help them feel more in control of their own mental wellbeing.
8. Help Them Find a Mentor
Even if you are the coolest parent in the world, your kids may feel less pressure opening up to an adult who’s not their parent. Since your goal is giving your kids the space and opportunity to talk about their feelings, encourage them to talk with other trusted adults in their life.
Let them know that their teachers, coaches, aunts, and uncles all want them to succeed, and it’s okay going to a mentor for help.
Bottom Line
When it comes to tips for talking about mental health for kids, it’s important to do your part in counteracting the stigma that surrounds mental health conditions. Let your child know that there’s no shame in needing help and that they are not alone.
Mental illness impacts 1 in 6 children in their lifetime. Many conditions are responsive to treatment and therapy, but the first step is seeking help.
We are Here to Help
If your child has expressed feelings of anxiety or depression, it may be helpful for them to speak to a licensed counselor who can help them cope and navigate their emotions. There’s no shame in seeking help.
Give our care coordinator a call today. You call, we match you. It’s really that simple. With convenient locations in the Georgetown and Liberty Hill area, we can’t wait to help you.
On your side,
-Jenna
Jenna Fleming, LPC, NCC, is a Georgetown, TX therapist. She is also the owner of Georgetown and Liberty Hill Child & Family Counseling, where it is their mission to help people thrive through Christ-centered counseling.
