Temper tantrums, fear of the dark, and grocery-store-meltdowns – kids can outgrow a lot of things. So when it comes to child anxiety, you might be wondering, is this just a phase?
Rather than hoping that your child will ‘grow out of it’ or get over their fears, the most important thing you can do is help your child develop healthy coping strategies.
While it’s possible that your child may outgrow their anxiety, it’s always better to take the proactive approach. In other words, don’t assume that your child will get better on their own.
Getting your anxious child the support and help they need now can set them up for success later in life. Many children suffering from anxiety go undiagnosed and untreated, which can contribute to more serious problems down the road.
Should I Be Worried About My Child’s Anxiety?
Think back to when you were a kid – do you remember how scary the first day of school seemed?
You might have worried about what to wear, who to sit with at lunch, or how to find your way to class. Childhood involves many new experiences, which is why anxiety can be a completely normal part of growing up.
However, childhood anxiety becomes a problem when it prevents your child from doing their daily activities or causes them extreme distress.
For example, it may be normal for your child to get anxiety the night before a test at school. But if your child refuses to go to school that day or experiences physical distress, such as a stomachache or inability to fall asleep, that could signal a more serious issue.
For many children, anxiety often goes unnoticed because it presents itself in different ways. As a parent, educating yourself on common symptoms can help you catch the issue early on.
Common signs of childhood anxiety to be on the lookout for include:
- Persistent thoughts about all the ways things could go wrong in a situation
- Emotional outbursts or tantrums
- Worries that interfere with normal activities, such as school or social activities
- Frequent emotional distress that doesn’t go away when comforted by a parent
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, upset stomach, shortness of breath, fatigue, or trouble sleeping at night
Additionally, children of anxious parents are often anxious themselves. With that in mind, if you’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, you may want to pay close attention to your child’s anxiety levels.
How to Help a Child with Anxiety
If you notice your child is experiencing persistent anxiety, a professional therapist can help you determine the best path forward.
There are many interventions that have been proven to help reduce childhood anxiety, including individual counseling, family counseling, medication, or some combination of the above. What works best for your child may take some trial and error.
While therapy is not a ‘cure’ for anxiety, it will give your child the tools they need to manage their anxiety and keep it from overwhelming them. If your child’s anxiety keeps them from participating in certain activities, therapy can help them overcome those fears and keep anxiety levels in check.
Receiving a diagnosis may also help in giving a name to what your child is experiencing. Being aware of the issue is the first step toward healing.
What Can I Do to Help My Anxious Child?
Professional help works best when coupled with parenting strategies aimed at reducing anxiety at home.
Setting a good example is key to helping children build healthy coping mechanisms. A great place to start is by modifying your own behavior as a parent.
Children learn by doing, so how you deal with your own anxiety is extremely important. If you exhibit anxious behavior, your children may subconsciously pick up those habits.
The Dos and Don’ts of Parenting an Anxious Child
- DO create an environment where your children are comfortable sharing their feelings with you. Remember to talk about your own feelings to normalize open communication.
- DON’T dismiss or invalidate your child’s feelings. This includes saying things like ‘It’s no big deal’ or ‘Stop worrying so much.’ If you shut down your child when they come to you, that will teach them to keep their worries bottled up, making it much harder to notice signs and symptoms of anxiety.
- DO try to lower your own levels of anxiety so you’re not projecting them onto your children. For example, if you’re stressed, you might be short with your child. In that case, it’s better to take time to center yourself before offering support.
- DON’T try to remove anything and everything that triggers your child’s anxiety. It may be your natural instinct to protect your child by helping them avoid uncomfortable situations, but that’s not a long-term solution. If your child is anxious about going to the dentist, it’s not in their best interest to avoid going to the dentist. Rather, it’s about adopting strategies that can help them cope with their anxiety.
- DO be conscientious about how your words impact your child’s overall anxiety. For example, using fear-based language such as ‘Put on a coat or else you’ll get sick’ may induce anxiety, while saying something like ‘Don’t forget to bring your coat’ could be more soothing.
- DO check-in with your child frequently, especially when they are facing major changes in their life. Studies have shown that anxious children often have a hard time during transition periods. This could include anything from moving to a new location to joining a new club at school. Knowing what triggers your child’s anxiety can help you better prepare them for difficult moments.
Bottom Line
Children may or may not outgrow their childhood anxiety – but the best approach is not to ‘wait and see.’ Healthy coping mechanisms don’t just develop by chance.
Seeking professional help for your children can help your child manage their anxiety levels on a day-to-day basis. It can also help to identify their triggers and disrupt unhealthy thought patterns or behaviors.
Anxiety doesn’t have to be debilitating – with the right help and support, your child can learn to thrive despite the challenges.
Here to Help
Is the thought of seeking help overwhelming you? Choosing a therapist that has your best interests in mind shouldn’t be stressful. At Central Texas Child and Family counseling, we connect you to a specialist that can help with your child’s individual needs. It really is that simple.
With convenient locations in the Georgetown and Liberty Hill area, give us a call or send us an email to schedule your first session.
In your corner,
Jenna
