A little anxiety is normal and appropriate fear is even healthy.
But sometimes kids have more than a little case of the ‘jitters’ and parents can feel overwhelmed with what to do.
Anxiety is the top mental health problem affecting kids and teens today.
The good news is that it’s very treatable.
Anxiety in Kids
Anxiety looks different in every person. The DSM-5 identifies a buffet of disorders from specific phobias to generalized anxiety. What they all have in common, though, is that fear or worry is excessive and disturbs behavior.
A misnomer about anxiety is that kids will outgrow it. The truth is kids tend to grow into their anxiety, which continues to affect their life- just in other ways.
Unless their anxiety gets addressed early.
So-how do you know when it’s more than a ‘normal’ case of worries?
Here are some red flags that your child may need some extra help:
- Your child’s worry is excessive or difficult to control
- Your child complains of physical pains (ex: headaches, stomachaches, nausea, vomiting…) with no physical explanation. Always consult your physician first.
- Your child’s having a hard time sleeping or concentrating
- Certain situations provoke fear or anxiety in your child (ex: separating from mom/dad, being around lots of people…)
- Symptoms have lasted more than 4 weeks
Sometimes these symptoms are explained by things not related to anxiety. Parents can sort out what’s happening by talking with their child or seeking help from a professional.
How Therapy can Help
There’s a slew of options for treating anxiety.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the leading treatments. CBT focuses on examining thoughts (cognitions) that lead to anxiety and the behaviors or reaction to the ‘jittery’ situations.
The basic premise is that thoughts lead to feelings, which drive our actions and ultimately our outcomes. The theory behind CBT is that it is not the situation, but our perception of it that leads to the dysfunction.
Therapy can help kids figure out the thoughts leading to the anxiety and how to replace them with healthier ones. Counseling will also give tools for helping to cope with the physical symptoms of anxiety (ex: breathing techniques, mindfulness, visualization…).
Children respond well through play and games. Teens love playfulness, too- it lightens the ‘heavy’ topic of anxiety, making it much more manageable.
What Parents can do at Home
There are plenty of things parents can do to help their child!
- Support and Consistency- These are key features of healthy parenting. Support your child by letting them know you’re there, you care and you’re helping. At the same time, follow through on what you say. In doing this, your child sees that you are in control and they can trust you.
- Modeling is the most powerful way to teach. Teach your children that worry is normal, but that it’s not meant to take the fun out of life. Share and model your own healthy coping for managing anxiety (ex: breathing, thinking of positive thoughts, talking with friends…).
- Think out loud– “catch your thoughts” out loud when they are heading toward something negative and choose to think in a more positive direction (essentially be a CBT model for your child).
- Read books– stories can help to normalize that your child is not alone. Here are some great books for teens, big kids, and little kids.
- Get Organized– Anxiety is an ‘out of control’ feeling. Organizing other areas of life helps us feel more in control. Kids benefit from having some structure to their days. Try a family calendar, schedule, and routines.
- Surround the Senses– Engaging in our senses helps to ‘ground’ a person who feels ‘swept away’ by emotion. Think about things like: calm/happy music, sunshine, diffuse lavender, fidgets (things to do with our hands), chamomile tea, lower lighting before bed and avoiding caffeine.
- Limit electronics- More and more we hear how electronic use is connected to depression and anxiety. There are many reasons why- from social avoidance to neurological wiring, the facts are clear. Excessive screen time is unhealthy, especially for those with anxiety or depression. Place limits on your child’s use of screens, particularly before bed.
- Breathe– It’s a simple and powerful tool we can use anytime. Help your child learn deep breathing methods like box breathing. It calms the nervous system and teaches how to regulate the body at the first sign of anxiety.
- Prayer- it’s the most powerful weapon we have. Prayer changes things. Pray for and with your child, let them see you leaning on your own faith in times of distress. People who regularly pray have less anxiety, depression, and lower blood pressure. Plus it’s a reminder to let go of control and trust in faith that there is a loving, wiser, higher hand at work in all things for our good.
Help is out there
Anxiety can be overwhelming to parents, but you are not alone and there are many ways that it can be treated. If you need help deciding if counseling is right for you, scheduling a free phone consult may help.
Wishing you smooth, happy and calm days ahead!
Jenna Fleming is a licensed professional counselor serving kids, teens and parents in Georgetown, TX. She offers counseling services, courses and classes to help families enjoy life more fully and get to a smoother, healthier path.
