According to the CDC, approximately 7% of children have diagnosed anxiety. The actual number, however, is likely to be much higher because many issues go unreported.
Recognizing the signs of anxiety can be confusing and sometimes hidden from parents. Many of the physical, emotional and behavioral signs of anxiety can be misunderstood or unknowingly missed. Sometimes parents will feel that their child is going through a stage or acting manipulative. And in other situations, our understanding of mental health can be limited or may have a stigma attached to it.
Understanding the difference between an age-appropriate tantrum and a warning sign of a mental health issue is important because anxiety doesn’t tend to resolve itself.
Children usually don’t the vocabulary to describe what’s going on in their inner worlds, so noticing the signs and talking about your own mental health can be a helpful way to recognize and teach mental health.
When is it more than worry?
If your child’s worries start to interfere with their learning, social world or their ability to enjoy home life, then there might be more than just regular worrying going on. In general, when emotions interfere with the ability to function with day to day life, there may be a clinical issue going on. In other words, it’s likely time to seek some support.
Here are a few more common symptoms of children with anxiety.
Physical Signs
- Tummy trouble or nausea
- Headaches
- Trouble breathing
- Feeling dizzy
- Shaking
- Sweating
- Sleeplessness
- Exhaustion
- A lower appetite than normal
- Wetting the bed
- Fidgeting or moving around a lot
- Muscle tension
- Frequent urination or diarrhea
Emotional Signs
- Separation anxiety when away from caregivers
- Specific phobias or fears (of strangers, of dogs, of the dark, etc.)
- Irritability
- Anger
- Crying
Behavior Signs
- Trouble sleeping
- Refusal to go places or to leave family
- Getting into trouble
- Pushing others away or becoming clingy
- Temper tantrums
- Outbursts
- Trouble focusing
- Difficulty with transitions throughout the day
- Forgetfulness
- Crying, whining
- Feels like ‘walking on eggshells’ around child
What you can do
Most parents feel overwhelmed by the issue, but the best gift you can give your child is a healthy parent.
So receive this as permission all you Moms, Dads, Grandparents and Caregivers… Take good care of yourself.
A good starting point is to consult with your child’s pediatrician. Anxiety, stress and trauma are all held in the body as well as the emotions and having a medical perspective can help to rule out any other issues.
It’s equally important to be calm and well cared for ourselves. Our brains have mirror neurons and our children are very sensitive to us by reflecting (mirroring) back what is modeled to them.
Many parents with anxious children struggle with anxiety themselves. You may feel you can ‘hide’ this from your children, but you are fooling yourself. Just as you can feel the tension between two arguing people without being told about their tiff, your child can also feel your anxiety even when you try to hide it.
Healthy parental self-care is essential.
For older children and adults, counseling and changes in parenting approaches can also help. I’ve written an article on helping children with anxiety with more information and helpful ideas. There are also things you can do at home to help create an environment for managing anxiety.
Anxiety Managing Tips
- Keep healthy snacks available (unstable blood sugar makes emotions difficult to handle…in other words, avoid ‘hangry’ moments)
- Keep a routine or schedule. When changes occur, help your child by keeping a calendar or making them part of managing the schedule.
- Avoid overly processed foods or sugar. These foods encourage inflammation in our body, which is associated with anxiety and depression.
- Keep your child hydrated.
- Have nighttime routines and limit screen time (particularly before bed).
- Make sure your child is getting regular physical activity.
- Treat the anxiety seriously and react with understanding, patience, and confidence: “I know you don’t want me to go away right now, but I will be back after school.” Do not tease or be unkind by saying things such as ‘Quit acting like a baby‘.
- Stay calm and matter-of-fact.
- Be flexible and firm. Giving into your child’s anxiety will often make the problem worse, but being inflexible can escalate the issue and create a traumatic experience. Stand firm, but think big picture and offer some flexibility where you can.
- Limit news or media that may increase fears.
- Give lots of love and attention.
- Avoid over-labeling your child as anxious or giving too much attention to the anxiety.
- Help your child with calm, deep breathing exercises.
- Don’t feed into the negative anxiety-provoking thoughts, rather, help your child to redirect their thoughts more positively
Professional Support
It can be really tricky to spot child anxiety. There’s a lot of overlap with anxiety and other disorders, like ADHD. A professional is trained to help parents navigate how to detect the issue, understand how to respond and can help your child develop tools and skills for managing and coping with anxiety.
Our office is specialized in meeting issues that happen during the family raising years. Anxiety is the most common mental health issue in our country. And the good news is that it’s highly treatable.
We’d love to help you get connected to the right counselor if you’re struggling with how to handle your child’s worry or anxiety.
Contact us by email or give us a call at 512-651-1009. It’s so simple. You call. We find you a good match and get you scheduled. You attend your first session
Life can be hard. We’re here to make getting the RIGHT help easy!
