2020 has been a tough year. It’s been difficult to escape the negative news, negative events or negative social media posts. It’s not surprising to hear that more people are struggling with persistent negative thoughts running rampant through their head.
Although it may feel thoughts have a mind of their own, you have much more power than you may believe. You can shift your negative thoughts for positive ones with the right practice and techniques.
Recognize the Negative Thought Patterns
You can’t change what you’re unaware of, so first, you must identify your unhelpful thoughts. Here are a few common types of negative thought patterns.
- Filtering. This is when you only pay attention to certain things. You magnify the negative aspects of your life and filter out all of the positive ones. Instead of focusing on the praise from doing a great job on an endeavor, you chose to focus on what could have been done better and what you still need to do.
- Personalizing. When something bad happens, you automatically blame yourself or take responsibility for something that wasn’t your fault. Your friends cancel plans? Oh it must be because they don’t want to hang out with you. Most likely, that’s not the case, but that is what you tell yourself.
- Catastrophizing. You automatically assume the worst is going to happen. For example, you may worry that you’ll fail an exam. That thought snowballs into thinking that failing the exams means that you are a bad student, therefore you will never pass the course, graduate, or find a job.
- Polarizing. You see things only as either good or bad, there is no middle ground for you. This could mean that you need to see yourself as being perfect in all aspects of your life or you’re a total failure. We’re hearing more about this thought pattern becoming problematic with us as a larger society.
- Jumping to Conclusions. You are an expert at negatively filling in the blanks. This thought pattern has two typical types. The mind reader believes they know what others are thinking and assumes it must be the worst. The fortune teller predicts the future with a bleak forecast, often diminishing their own confidence.
Once you can begin to recognize your negative thought patterns, you can transform them into positive thought patterns. This may sound simple but it takes time and practice. You are creating a brand new habit, and it will take a lot of repetition before these constructive and affirmative thoughts are second nature.
Read that last sentence again if you need to.
Develop a Positive Thinking Mindset
Here are some tips on how to think in a more positive way:
- Identify areas to change. What are the areas of your life that you typically think negatively about? This could be your daily commute, relationships, parenting or work. It’s best not to try and tackle all the negative areas at once. This can quickly become overwhelming. Instead, start small and focus on one area to begin seeing in a more positive light.
- Check yourself. Throughout the day stop what you’re doing and evaluate what you’re thinking. If you notice your thoughts are turning negative, stop right there. Take a pause and try to find a way of putting a positive spin on them. The situation might, indeed, be bleak. In that case, it could be best to move on to another thought topic altogether.
- Crack a smile. Laughter can be the best and most wonderful medicine, especially during these difficult times we are living in. Seek humor in everyday happenings. Laugh at yourself instead of criticising yourself (or others). When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.
- Live a healthy lifestyle. Want an all-natural mood boost? Exercise is proven to positively affect your mood and reduce stress. Everyone struggles to fit exercise into their day. Set yourself up for success by scheduling it in. Or make things less daunting by setting goals and tackling it in small chunks. A 5 minute stretch here, a 10 minute walk there, and next thing you know you’re halfway through your daily exercise goals.
- Practice positive self-talk. Sometimes it can be hard to think of positive things about yourself, but here’s a trick. Start by following one simple rule: Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone you care about. We’re often our own harshest critics. Self criticism is rarely (if ever) helpful. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. Remember that you are human and all humans struggle and stumble at times. We also do best when we are encouraged and supported. Be that for yourself.
Be Realistic and Keep Practicing
Remember that changing old patterns will not happen overnight. It’s unrealistic to expect your head to be filled with Pollyanna thoughts tomorrow (nor is that the goal). This takes practice and time. Those negative thoughts can have a strong hold but eventually by putting these tips and tricks into play you will create new brain neural networks, allowing your mind to more easily have a more optimistic outlook on your everyday life. Kinda like you’re a brain surgeon…cool, right!?
I’m super positive you’ve got this!
-Jenna
Jenna Fleming, LPC, NCC, is a Georgetown, TX therapist. She is also the owner at Georgetown and Liberty Hill Child & Family Counseling, where it is their mission to help people thrive through Christ-centered counseling.
